Saturday, October 28, 2006

Where am I now?

Frankly, I have forgotten my blog address, until I came to kakngah's blog, and found the link to this blog. Thanks kakngah. And you left a comment? when was this? today?

September was really good, infact the whole summer I was workign really hard, even managed to shed some pounds here :-). Sampai tak kisah makan minum. But then, we had Ramadhan at the end of September, I quickly changed my schedule to fill up the blessing month with more amal. With a hope that I will manage to carry on for the rest of the year until I meet another Ramadhan insya-Allah. But I was pretty careless anyway, that I have neglected a bit on my studies. Research has gone real slow. Must say no progress in terms of publishable work. Yes, that teruk. Now, I'm still at gear one. Otak pun mcm dah berkarat. dpt pulak too much laughing during raya. Must istighfar banyak2... bad2 me.. ketawa banyak2 blh menggelapkan hati kan? yealah... bila ketawa banyak2, blh lupa mati... nauzubillah, also lupa Allah... hmm... should I go to ISOC EID party tomorrow then? well, i think i should, but i also should mind my manners.

I have lost a little self-motivation on my work. A colleague sitting facing me (yes, we're only been separated by our flat-screen monitors, and a piece of board), he's writing fast to complete his phd). geram je rasa nak tanya, when is his submission deadline. but i'm afraid if he'll ask me the same questions. sbb banyak sgt of the unknowns. so i better mind my own business.

tried to g**gle for motivation for p*d ni. dptlah satu website, stating that phd, is all about self-motivation. tu lah masalahnya... sbb mmg terlalu dependent on others dlm giving motivation ni. dpt pulak sv yg not the kind that is really motivating. rather he likes to challenge his students. unfortunately, i like to step-back after being challenged. camnelah... ada tips tak? p*d is all about self-motivation. it's not about who is genius and who's not, tapi it's about how one persists to get what one wants to achieve despite all the challenges faced.

Oklah... not sure, who's reading this... am writing this for myself. i need to let things out, and someday i can read this again, and see what i have been thinking about in the past.

Selamat Hari Raya.

Writing can be theraupetic, it helps to let out the worriness, the guilt etc. Let it be... let it be... be here now... be here now... concentrate in your work.